


Condemned

by xBubble_Teax



Series: Sinners [3]
Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, M/M, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 16:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12561676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xBubble_Teax/pseuds/xBubble_Teax
Summary: The final instalment; using the songs "Twin Flames" and "Half God, Half Devil" by In this Moment. Please listen as they set the tone for the fic! <3Fleeing from Aoi's hotel room, Uruha is consumed by guilt at being used yet again. Despite being hurt beyond more than he can bear, Aoi isn't letting him go without a fight...





	Condemned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [banana_chocolate97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/banana_chocolate97/gifts).



***

 

Outside, dusk had fallen and a thin layer of fog nestled low to the ground, lazy droplets of water falling from the sky in a gentle drizzle. Uruha held his suit jacket limply in his arms, his chest rattling as he succumbed to panic, willing more than anything that the world would stop for just a moment to let himself catch his senses. He roamed the street on unsteady feet, the blood in his veins set alight with adrenaline.

_I defied him..._

He cursed himself inwardly; the reality of his actions squeezing his stomach nauseatingly. The rain dampened his white shirt, feeling it cling to his body unattractively, though concurrently Uruha felt cleansed of his ex's touch. The chill of the October air cooled the rising heat of his skin until he had almost piqued contentment, squeezing his eyes shut to close off the memory of angry words that were spat from his lips just moments ago.

_Wash me clean. Wash me of my sins..._

Kai had been nowhere to be found. Uruha's dark eyes had searched the moment he'd reached the lobby, only to find him gone from the table they had been seated at earlier tonight. His chair sat pulled back from the table untidily, and Uruha couldn't help to imagine what might have been if he had stayed. If he had left Aoi where he was; in that sordid unclean hotel room in his own damaging presence like he so belonged.

Uruha's heart raced as the fragments of Aoi's touches and kisses lingered clearly in his memory, and he continued to feel them now; disgrace in its every magnetism. Overpowered, he stumbled into the next alleyway and let his body slump against the wall, tempted to fist the brickwork in uncontrollable frustration,

"Why do you do this to me...? " Uruha spoke helplessly, the rain cascading over his shoulders and dampening the strands of his honey-blonde hair as he hung his head low. To passersby he would have looked a sorry sight, encased in the shadows of the night like Aoi's dark intent had hold of.

He could still feel the sting of Aoi's remains inside of him, the remnants of his possession, his chains....

Uruha felt sick, the smog all around him nauseating and it was only Aoi he could feel all around him. HIs poison, his vexation, his incompetence swallowing Uruha whole without forgiveness.

He released a low, frustrating scream into the masonry, voice hoarse and painstakingly broken to perfection. Grief overtook him in a strong wave. Love at its worst design.

Uruha would curse Aoi until the end of time for all of his wrongdoings, of the way he treated him,

"This isn't love..." Uruha whispered, his eyes growing darker with realisation, "You don't love me..."

His chest heaved deeply and he forced himself to turn around. He slid down the wall in defeat until he hovered above the ground on his ankles, raising his head and forcing himself to return to normality. To the bleak darkness before him...

But it was one that was free from Aoi, so in every sense the scene was angelic.

Uruha dug in a wet hand to retrieve his phone buried in his trouser pocket. The moment the screen unlocked, the unattractive display of Uruha's earlier text message stood bright and unclean against the screen. Try as he might, Uruha couldn't help but read it over again, eyes trailing across the hastily typed words in complete scorn.

Water brimmed his eyelids; from the cold or the situation, Uruha wasn't certain. All he knew was that inside he was aching, with a pain burning so loud he could barely gather his thoughts,

"Ruki, I've done something terrible." He found himself close to tears the moment Ruki answered; the one constant in his life he knew he could count on,

"What's happened?" His friend's voice was laced with concern, but it only took him a moment to guess, "Oh, please don't tell me..."

Uruha nodded, his breath hitching as disgust settled over his shoulders, "I met with him."

"B-But how?" Ruki sounded positively livid, "You were with Kai tonight weren't you?!"

"He found me," Uruha answered bleakly, his voice near drowned out by the sound of rain slapping the pavement, "He tracked my phone..."

Ruki was dead silent, until his shock seethed through the phone, "That son of a bitch. I'm going to wring his neck when I -"

"- Yeah, well, not before me." Uruha added, shifting on his ankles as the autumnal chill caused him to shiver,

"But... I don't understand," Ruki spoke after a moment, "How did you end up with him if you and Kai were together?"

Uruha squeezed his eyes shut, "I got a note. From Aoi, " He sighed, deeply and regretfully, "So I left to see him."

"Uruha, are you out of your mind?!"

"I _know_ alright?" Uruha cried out, "I don't know what was going through my head Ru! I don't know what he's doing to me! What do I... What do I _do?"_

He did cry then. Alone in the alleyway. Traffic still moving and the world unfaltering. He prayed for the ground to consume him; to swallow him up in his own self-decay.

But Ruki was there so, for the moment, everything seemed a little more bearable,

"I'll tell you what you're going to do," He started, with more care and respect than Uruha felt he deserved, "You're going to go home and you're never going to speak to him again..."

"And how long is it going to last this time, Ru?" Uruha counteracted miserably, his tears mingling with the downpour, "A day? A week? A month? And even if I could let him go, _how_ do I stop myself from thinking about him?"

Ruki paused, for longer than Uruha could bear, "... You can't."

His answer was honest, and Uruha hated it. He hated that he'd just had sex with a man who was built on tyranny and an absence for love. In fact, that hatred had almost become part of him. The same hatred he'd felt the night of the masquerade ball. The same he'd felt every night since.

Uruha was losing himself. He was no longer a man who stood by his word, or defined himself by self-respect. Aoi was damaging him, tearing him down from a pedestal of decency he craved to own again,

"But... you can move on," Came Ruki's words in his ear, "You can move on and forget him if you just let yourself."

"... How?" Uruha croaked,

Ruki hesitated, "I think you know the answer to that."

Uruha hung up the phone after they both whispered thank you's and goodbye's, letting Ruki's words linger in his mind. He wiped his eyes and willed himself to calm down, desperate not to be dragged down to Aoi's standards any longer.

_You can move on..._

It took mere seconds for the call to connect and Uruha pressed the phone to his ear, awaiting the voice, begging silently to be answered.

Uruha didn't let him speak the moment the rings halted, "I'm so sorry," He spoke hurriedly, "I never should have left you."

He rose to his feet, stepping carefully to rejoin the bustling street; distant hums of car engines and the screeching of a train echoing in the distance. The life of the town was depressingly loud, with an annoyance Uruha no longer cared to hear,

"I need to see you," Uruha breathed, his destination now clear as he forced himself to move forward, "Meet me at mine. Please?"

The answer was one he needed. Hanging up the phone, Uruha glanced over his shoulder instinctively before he quickened his pace, desperate to rid himself of the unsettling aura that solidified all around him.

Tonight, he would be cleansed.

*

 

Kai was waiting for him by the time he reached home, as he had so hoped and prayed for the entire journey back.

Uruha paused as his foot climbed the final step of the apartment block stairs, Kai turning his head to face him in perfect tandem.  

He smiled once his eyes found Uruha's own; hands tucked into the pockets of his light green parka and his chestnut hair sprinkled with the outside rain. Uruha admitted inside that Kai's gentle face and the ease of his smile was a welcome change.

Uruha ascended, gravitating towards him as though compelled by a deepening power for wanting. Their lips became inches apart, neither man uttering a single word as Uruha reached past Kai's hip to slide his key effortlessly into the lock of the door and twist it to the right.

The door swung open with a gentle creak but neither man moved an inch. They stood close in complete contentment, watching their chests rising and falling in weakening anticipation; no nervousness, no tension. Lustful and awaiting...

Uruha's dark eyes roamed the details of Kai's face, searching for something withheld, something hopeful. His fingers curled at his sides, aching to feel the softness of Kai's pallid skin, to tug him closer and embrace his gentleness.

He _needed_ to feel something other than wretchedness.

 Kai was breathing rapidly underneath him, and Uruha noticed the small fleck of his tongue smooth acutely across the corner of his bottom lip; his eyelids lowered to absorb Uruha's wet shirt clinging attractively to the moulds of his collarbone.

It was all Uruha needed to witness. His hands rose to cup Kai's neck, holding him in place and pressing their lips together in unfaithful longing. Kai moaned gently, his hands startled of what to do before Uruha could feel them wrap neatly around his hips and the small of his back. Uruha couldn't help but sigh deeply at the touch of another man upon him; to have fingers that met his skin softly with no intent for destruction.

It was that very notion that had Uruha pushing Kai through the doorway, sliding his hands under Kai's coat and slipping it from his shoulders. They knocked into furniture and stumbled over each other's feet, until Uruha rested Kai against the wall beside his coat rack, flicking the light switch and settling himself between Kai's thighs.

Kai submitted willingly, Uruha drinking in the rapturous tender of Kai's kisses as he had so longed to feel. Kai's lips upon his were nothing more than flecks of cotton; graceful and reassuring, with boundaries of feeling so delightful Uruha couldn't bring himself to stop. He devoured him; Kai's tenderness and purity washing clean the defilement and corruption that Aoi had left behind.

Uruha pressed their bodies tight together, feeling the warmth of Kai's chest radiate through his dark shirt. He was desperate to lose himself in something more; in something other than Aoi's suffocation.

And Kai, at the moment, was his path to salvation,

"Uruha..." The sigh feathered through Kai's lips in pure bliss and Uruha took a second to caress the tender skin of his cheeks,

"Forgive me," Uruha breathed against his lips, pecking them tenderly, "I never should have left..."

"I wish you hadn't," Kai admitted quietly, tangling a strong hand through the golden locks of Uruha's hair as the blonde moved to mark lingering kisses at his neck, "Why did you?"

Uruha paused at the base of his collarbone, his eyes connecting with Kai's once more as he raised his head. He didn't find anger though, or upset; only simple curiosity.

_If it had been Aoi he would have -_

Uruha brushed the thought away, tucking chestnut strands behind Kai's ears, "It's not important," He lied, cupping Kai's face gently, "It was just something I had to deal with. But it's over now. And I just want to spend the rest of tonight with no one else but you..."

He glimpsed the corners of Kai's mouth moulding into a smile before he pressed their lips together again. Kai's taste was unconditionally addictive; perhaps because he was new or that he lacked the self-involved persona that Uruha was too used to dealing in. Kai's cologne was masculine; a scent so potent Uruha wanted to trail his tongue across Kai's chest and lick him clean again,

"I had no idea..." Kai murmured between kisses, his hands rising to hang loosely on Uruha's shoulders, "... That you liked me as much as I liked you."

"I do..." Uruha whispered lustily, kissing him hard as evidence to his words, "God, I do..."

Uruha moaned in delight, smiling into Kai's kiss as he felt the other's fingers begin unfastening the buttons at the hem of his shirt. He encouraged Kai further with every deepened kiss, testing his territory as his tongue marked its request for entry. Kai accepted willfully, welcoming Uruha's tongue with his own as it curled over his bottom lip. Uruha groaned against him, the hot cavern of Kai's mouth baptising him into complete ecstasy.

Uruha tried not to focus on the reality that Kai's main purpose for tonight was distraction. Yet, he was attracted. Kai was a man who had been raised on decent morals. He was a model student, good-natured, the kind of friend you could spill your troubles to and trust that he would utter them to no other. Kai could keep secrets, he could forgive for any misdeed.

Whether he could forgive Uruha was another question. And part of Uruha didn't want to find out, content to lavish himself with Kai's affections and take pieces of Heaven from them until he was ready to be released back into Hell.

He hoped for a while that Hell wouldn't come, the very notion spurring him into unbuttoning Kai's shirt.

He kissed the skin underneath as each new patch of Kai's torso was revealed to him. Slim and grazed with sunlight, Uruha's lips moulded over the perfection in awe, hearing the sighs being whispered in pleasure above him.

Uruha gazed through half-lidded eyes at Kai's breathless and extravagant expression pouring attraction. Kai's cheeks were flushed, his hair unkempt as he ran a hand through the waves. Uruha had never seen anything quite so beautiful, or as innocent.

It made Uruha want him more. He just had to have him, to bathe in Kai's rapture and taste its serenity.

Kai pulled Uruha into him as he returned to the comfort of his lips. Their kisses were deep and wild with passion, moving so hungrily Uruha was lost as to where he began and where Kai ended.  Uruha felt the arousing friction of Kai's crotch rubbing between his hips and he whispered a long drawn out curse word under his breath. He tore Kai's shirt from his chest and tossed it to the floor, sparing a single moment to allow his sight to grace Kai's nakedness in totality.

Arousal ran deep within Uruha's veins, blood pumping and heart racing. Kai was submitted before him, surrendering in complete radiance.

_I've found Heaven._

Uruha bit back the urge to sink his teeth into the plush fullness of Kai's bottom lip. He longed to leave no mark; no trace of injury. Kai was too pure for that and the last thing Uruha wanted was to taste his pain.

He desired the taste for virtue,

"What the hell are you doing?"

The sound of their kiss breaking apart echoed loudly in the air, as Kai startled and turned to face the doorway. Uruha, however, did  no such thing; knowing a voice as dark and angry as that was too unmistakeable to have been misheard.

Maddeningly, Uruha's heart rate dramatically increased, so much so that he could not bear to look the other in the eye.

_Hell has found me after all,_

"I asked you a question." Aoi demanded, and in between the quiet of his venom, Uruha heard the raindrops clinging to his clothes thump gently to the floorboards; his sudden presence infecting the air around them like black ink falling into water,

"Get out." Uruha answered him, finally twisting his head to face Aoi with a stern gaze. The other stood empowered in the open doorway, with a glare marking palpable disgust. His coat was sodden with the torrential rain, his hair dripping and curling at his shoulders in disarray. Uruha felt Kai shake underneath him and firmly took his upper arm to keep him in place; determined to shield his innocence away from the monster that stood before them,

"Uruha...?" Kai's question was inhibited and the fingers Uruha still held in Kai's hair stroked him reassuringly,

"It's okay," He murmured, his eyes connecting daringly to Aoi's, too stubborn to move them elsewhere, "He's just leaving."

Uruha tried to stay undeterred as Aoi's lips broke into a simple smirk, "So this is what you left me for then, hm?" His eyes scrolled to Kai's, "Did he not tell you that it wasn't even an hour ago that he just made love to me?"

Uruha twitched with anger, feeling Kai react underneath him, "Is that what you call it?" Uruha scoffed, "That we 'made love'?'"

Aoi's smile was shrewd, a glint in his eyes as Kai pushed Uruha gently off of him and collected his shirt from the floor. Uruha felt the loss of his warmth burn a hole in his stomach.

_I was inches away from tasting happiness,_

"Uruha... what is going on?" Kai's small voice disrupted the tension quickly dominating the atmosphere, buttoning his shirt halfway as he looked to Uruha uncertainly, "Did you really just sleep with him?! Who _is_ he??"

"I'm his partner," Aoi growled, with more possession than Uruha was happy with,

" _Ex._ " Uruha spat, his eyes fixed on Aoi's with a sadistic glare, "I don't _belong_ to you anymore. I told you that."

Beside them, Kai was already piecing together the missing remnants of the puzzle, "You were with him? Tonight?"

Despite himself, Uruha looked to Kai and immediately softened his gaze, apology seeping through his features,

"I was," He admitted gently, approaching Kai as he noticed the brunette's face begin to fall into hurt, "But I told you, it was over. I went to finish with him." Uruha took Kai's hand desperately and linked their fingers together, feeling Kai's wrists begin to tremble.

He was uncertain whether or not he was lying. Yes, he had told Aoi enough was enough, but Aoi was right. Uruha had fallen into that trap of sex and deceit. He had _let_ him do that.

_For the last time,_

"You know that's not what happened." Came the devil over his shoulder, smugness so prevalent Uruha was certain Aoi wanted to destroy every smidgen of happiness he had ever tried to gain elsewhere.

The frustration took hold of him and he glared menacingly towards Aoi from over his shoulder, "This has _nothing_ to do with you."

Perhaps Aoi didn't believe him. He had, each time, always come running back to Aoi despite several attempts at ending their relationship; threatening never to see Aoi again or another argument of similar circumstance. Aoi had probably fathomed that Uruha didn't have it in him to walk away for good; for each time Aoi had managed to overpower him and convince him otherwise. Dousing the fire Uruha held inside and luring him back into his arms. Into his bed.

Uruha was caught in limbo. Heaven on his right, Hell to his left,

"Kai, please believe me," Uruha pleaded, so quietly he hoped it was out of Aoi's earshot, "I wish I could explain to you..." He cut himself off, noting the uncertainty lingering behind Kai's eyes. Where could he begin? How could he explain their relationship to anyone else when he was struggling with it himself?

Uruha sighed in discontent, gripping Kai's hands that bit tighter, "All I know is it's over between me and him. Kai, I -" Uruha caressed his cheek, "- I really like you. I'm not going to throw that away for _him_."  

A flicker of contentment passed across Kai's features, and to Uruha's relief, that devil over his shoulder kept silent; despite the proximity of his presence driving him further mad with frustration.

It was a moment more before Kai's eyebrows knitted in thought,

"I believe you," He murmured between them, with a smile that agreed. Though, it faded in the space of seconds, and Uruha felt despair creeping before Kai's next words were even uttered,

"But, Uruha, you slept with him. And then you called _me_ wanting the same thing?"

Uruha could hear the disbelief now, seeping through each word no doubt to Aoi's satisfaction. Uruha watched with despair as Kai unlinked their fingers and his arms dropped to his sides, feeling his stomach drop like a dead weight as a thin line of sore tears began to well in the dark hue of Kai's hazel eyes.

Guilt settled its firm claws deep into Uruha's shoulders, "No... it wasn't like that," He whispered, daring to lay a hand on his angel's shoulder, "I want you. I _need_ you. Please... go wait for me in the bedroom and I'll get rid of him. I'll-I'll explain everything."

Kai shook his head; no evidence of upset, not of anything in fact. His voice was submerged in disappointment, mundane and matter-of-fact, "No, Uruha, you don't. You said it was only me that you wanted to spend the rest of tonight with," Kai scoffed sadly, "But you were wrong. You were just going to use me to get over..." Kai waved a hand in Aoi's direction, before he wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve, "I won't be subject to that."

Uruha couldn't answer him. The pieces of his salvation splintering into peril as he stood still and watched Kai collect his coat from the floor and pause in the open doorway. Aoi watched the scene with complacency, his lurid pupils grazing Uruha's form as he struggled to form the right argument to convince Kai to stay. The words to stop him were non-existent as, deep down, he was guilty of everything Kai had accused him of.

Kai drummed his fingers against the door frame, shooting Uruha a regretful glance; his disappointment so great, it rendered Uruha powerless,

"When you figure out who you want, Uruha... Call me."

The gentle slam of the door closing shattered a part of Uruha he never knew he had. The very brink of peace he had so longed for had gone, disappearing into the night as though already it was so far from reach.

And here he was; left in purgatory. With a man he was beginning to hate the very sight of.

Aoi began unbuttoning his coat, as though the very scene before him hadn't deterred him. As though Kai lacked any source of importance, "Your plaything is weak," He mused, with that same arrogant smirk that Uruha could never stand to witness. A smirk that told Uruha he had won again, at the same game and that it would only be a matter of time before he won again,

"Now..." Aoi began, his tongue grazing the edges of his front teeth in wicked intent, "Don't you have an apology for me?"

He stepped forward, striding towards Uruha undeterred; as though the very ground he walked on was his to own. Self-assured, nowhere to falter, ignorance at its most ugly.

It made Uruha's blood boil.

Before he could stop himself, his palm had connected with Aoi's cheek; the harsh impact of skin-on-skin resounding loudly throughout the apartment,

"Get the fuck away from me." Uruha's voice had dropped decibels lower than he could control, and not once could he recall a single moment in his lifetime where he had felt this furious. His hands quivered at his sides, fingers curling into fists as the sting spread throughout his palm. He had to confess he wanted to beat Aoi into the ground, to unload unto him all of his anger until he crawled out of Uruha's life for good.  

Aoi held no reaction, simply trailing a finger across the side of his lip and checking it for blood. He turned back to Uruha with an expression of irritance, his tongue nursing the inside walls of his mouth.

Uruha held his breath, trembling, "I don't want you anywhere near me," He hissed, "I already told you. Tonight was a _mistake_ Aoi. I told you I wanted you gone and yet you _can't_ just let me go!!"

" _You_ made a promise to me," Aoi seethed, with that familiar malice Uruha knew too well, "You told me you were mine. _Mine._ And that you would never leave me -"

"- It was a _mistake._ " Uruha insisted, with a tone to match Aoi's, "How can I be yours when you _don't love me?_ "

Aoi was inanimate, doing nothing else than staring Uruha down with that malicious darkness that gathered in his eyes. Uruha faced them head on, willing himself not to break, to gather some sort of strength and stand up to the wretched hellion that Aoi was,

"Kai had nothing to do with you and I," Uruha spoke at last, fire in his throat, "You had no right barging in here and telling him everything that had happened between us tonight!"

A crimson stain began to spread across the pale complexion of Aoi's cheek, yet his words emerged soft,

"- I came here to prove we're not what you think we are."

Uruha faltered, though not so naive to believe that Aoi would have changed all the atrocities he possessed due to their small argument an hour ago. To do so would have presented a human being he would no longer recognise,

"I don't believe you," Uruha retaliated, after struggling to find the right response, "You came here because you knew that I was going to Kai. To be with him and kiss him and make love to him like I had wanted to do before I got your warped message to meet you. You _knew_ I was with him and it tore you apart!"

A muscle in Aoi's jaw clenched, but Uruha couldn't allow himself to stop,

"You can't just leave me be, can you?" Uruha challenged him, "Admit it. You despised seeing me with someone else and, as always, you felt you had to ruin everything and hope I would just crumble and fall into your arms again. Well, I'm not _letting_ you!"

Aoi's tongue smoothed across his bottom lip in a singular motion; with a calmness Uruha found infuriating, "Baby..." The name was dragged out sultrily, and Uruha didn't miss it, "... You need to understand how much we belong together. How much you need me -"

"- Don't preach your selfishness to me," Uruha retorted desolately, his arms clenched tight at his sides, "Aoi, nothing we do has any good consequence. It's all sex and dominance! We don't hold anything _meaningful._ How could we, when you use me and take advantage like I keep letting you?!"

Uruha's chest was shaking, his breathing laboured. In truth, it was taking all his strength not to leave his own home. Never before had Aoi visited and tainted his apartment with his aura of devastation as of yet; though of course it didn't stop Uruha handing out his address should Aoi had ever wanted it.

In the nights that Uruha had needed him most, still Aoi never came to his deliverance.

He wanted to squeeze the echoes of Aoi's voice and his illusive words out of his head, to banish every waking memory they had shared. _Anything_ to cease the heartbreak of his presence,

"Please, Aoi..." Uruha whispered at last, "I need you to leave."

To emphasise the seriousness of his words, Uruha made a move towards the door. He stood beside it, taking hold of the door handle,

"I can't." Aoi answered him, before he had chance to pull it open,

"Aoi - "

"- Not until I show you how great we are together. How much you enjoy being mine."

Uruha shook his head, "No, Aoi," He whispered lowly, "I'm not yours. I never was."

Already witnessed once tonight, Uruha noticed the hurt that again wracked Aoi's body. He flinched visibly, his mouth parting in mild disbelief,

"You were mine tonight," Aoi reminded, his voice gruff yet careful, even as Uruha was now too stubborn and angry to hear reason, "And you admitted it."

Uruha flinched as Aoi let his dark rain jacket slip from his arms and to the floor; a single gesture of obstinacy.

He wasn't going anywhere.

Aoi's heels flicked the item of clothing behind him as he took modest steps forward; his black boots thumping the floorboards like thunder. Uruha stood his ground, his fist tightening around the door handle.

The corner of Aoi's mouth twitched; perfectly aligned teeth with the power to seduce. He continued to stride until he stood directly in front of Uruha in direct symmetry.

Uruha held his stare as Aoi stood before him in silence, finding himself in a familiar mirror image. The angel that had stood before him had now traded places with a devil. Kai's scent of cologne washed away by the smell of rain and Aoi's heavy musk; soft chestnut hair replaced with dark tendrils, the roughness of Aoi's deep voice dissipating the sweet silk of Kai's.

Uruha's face fell, strength slipping as he could feel Aoi's cold fingers experimentally grip the hand lying by his side,

"Why do I love you?" Uruha found himself asking, as Aoi's chiselled jaw line and intense eyes stared back at him, "Tell me, Aoi, what on _earth_ is there to love about you?"

"You know the answer to that." Aoi whispered, his fingers continuing to caress Uruha's own at his side; though Uruha's own remained rigid and unresponsive.

He would not let Aoi fuck him back on his word.

Uruha studied the raven's face, no evidence to convince him otherwise. Nothing to prove that Aoi was what he wanted. What he _needed,_

"You track my phone, you forbid me from seeing other men," Uruha started bluntly, finding power in Aoi's discomfort as his eyelids creased disapprovingly. He could turn the tables, he could torture him as much as Uruha had been all this time. To suffer in torment and pray to something up above for it to end, "You hurt me. You lie. You never tell me you love me," Uruha listed them off by heart, no pauses to think or come up with another. Each was too raw and repetitive. Painful and asphyxiating, "Tell me how any of those things would make anyone fall in love with someone like you."

Silence descended and Aoi took a deep intake of breath. Uruha braced himself for the half-formed explanation, or a kiss to distract him from the matter at hand.

Aoi held the power to destroy him with words alone, and Uruha knew he was aware of that. Whether or not he chose to use them was another matter. Or whether he cared for Uruha enough to respect him like a decent human being.

But Aoi was far from. He was beyond any shred of decency,

"I'll tell you why," He murmured, with an honesty Uruha had never heard fall from his lips, "You like how I hover over you. You thrive in my jealousy, your heart leaps when I request your presence..." Uruha's heart pounded as Aoi lowered his gaze, to stare at his lips with withheld desiring, "Your heart races when I touch you. When I kiss you..." Aoi paused, leaning in closer, "When I'm inside of you..."

Aoi studied Uruha's face for a reaction, his mouth twitching when Uruha struggled under their proximity. Nowhere to back away, he stood rigidly, biting back his tongue for fear of going back on his word,

"You know just how bad I am for you," Aoi breathed, his hot breath caressing Uruha's neck and it made the blonde weaken impurely, "And yet you crave for the moments of goodness in me. You see, Uruha, you don't just want a good boy, but neither would you pick a bad one."

Aoi withdrew himself, his facial features melting into a smile dripping with wryness,

"That's why you want me," He purred, "You need both."

_Half-God. Half-Devil._

Uruha swallowed, his mouth dry at Aoi's conclusion. Words scrambled together in his brain messily, yet he fought his resolve; reminding himself of why he was here. Why _Kai_ had been here,

"Please tell me what part of you is any kind of 'good'," Uruha managed, shielding his true confliction as best as he could possibly manage, "In my eyes, you're the devil to me, Aoi. There's nothing I love and hate more than you."

Aoi bit his lip amorously, "So you admit it..." His dark eyes scrolled to Uruha's own, glinting with delight, "... You're crazy about me."

Uruha faltered, "- I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

Uruha weakened; struggling to do anything at all under the weight of Aoi's eyes. He lets Aoi pry his fingers gently from the door handle, linking their fingers smoothly in a perfect fit.

Uruha's retaliation was slipping, he could feel it as he allowed Aoi's languid fingers to touch him once more. He tried to recall the disgust he'd felt as he'd fled the hotel room, he tried to remember the grief and the angst as he rested against that cold brick wall and screamed into the rain,

"You won't change," Uruha whispered, tears starting to well in his eyes; at the heartbreak he'd endured; the pain he had suffered, "No matter what you tell me, you will continue to be as you are. Spiteful, possessive, mean-spirited..."

Aoi didn't move and Uruha flinched as his hand raised to caress his cheek,

"... What if I could show you that other side?" Aoi murmured between them, so quietly as though it were a secret, "What if I could give that side of me to you?"  
A part of Uruha melted into the warmth of Aoi's palm caressing his skin again, wanting so desperately to trust what Aoi was saying,

"I'd let you take me to Hell and back." Uruha whispered back, breathlessly as Aoi's lips moved into close proximity, stretching seamlessly into a smile.

His lips parted... poised before he whispered,

"... Then welcome to Hell."

Uruha didn't fight when Aoi's lips closed the gap between them to catch his own. He didn't struggle. He didn't resist.

He drank Aoi in... the Aoi that he had so longed to have.

Aoi's taste was different, and Uruha dared to let out a soft moan into the realms of Aoi's mouth. His tongue felt cold as it delicately curled over the roof of his mouth; asking for permission, not demanding it.

They broke apart for air, Uruha taking a moment to gather his senses.

Aoi regarded him with soft eyes, curling a strand of hair delicately behind Uruha's ear. His movements couldn't have been softer; his callousness erased,

"What have you done to me?" Uruha's voice was barely that of a whisper, making no move to exit as Aoi pressed their bodies closer together, "Why do I carry on loving you when you can't do the same for me?"

Aoi's mouth twitched kindly, the fingers twirling Uruha's hair coming to rest at his cheek,

"Then you obviously don't love like I do." He replied solemnly, with a trace of seriousness that rendered Uruha silent.

_He just admitted..._

Uruha felt the blood drain from his features, staring into Aoi's features as he tried to unravel the answers. A confession, a declaration... _anything._

Aoi's confident stare was all he could find, and he caressed Uruha's cheek to prove his point,

"I've never had to say it, baby," Aoi caught his gaze, his voice the essence of a whisper, "I've shown it to you all along. You've had every part of me. No one else has had my passion, my aggression, my anger. No one else has handled me that way."

Uruha swallowed as Aoi leant in closer,

"Except you..."

Uruha was shocked into silence, standing rigid in Aoi's arms as a thousand emotions collided inside him at once. Aoi had been capable of loving... only, it wasn't the love Uruha had wanted. It was one he had put up with this entire time,

"If you love me..." Uruha's words drifted shakily between them and he placed a gentle hand against Aoi's chest, "Prove it. Prove to me you have the decency to leave. Tonight."

Aoi was taken aback for the slightest second, before eventually he surprised Uruha with a small nod. His voice became softer and willing; the type of man not to beg for forgiveness,

"If that's what you want."

Uruha felt the purgatory evaporate around him the moment Aoi pulled the door open, even as he faltered in his steps, turning to gaze at Uruha from over his shoulder,

"I meant what I said earlier tonight," He murmured, "About how I couldn't release you from me."

Uruha turned to meet his eyes, finding no darkness there. Aoi's hazel pupils shimmered in the light above their heads, gleaming a rare sort of truth Uruha had been desperate to discover their whole relationship,

"I meant every word." Aoi affirmed gently, closing the door behind him before Uruha had chance to utter a single word more.

A strange sort of relief and emptiness graced Uruha as Aoi left of his own accord and he glanced to the jacket Aoi had left crumpled and soaking wet on the floor. Stepping over, he retrieved it and pressed the material to his face; even now still warm with Aoi's body heat and the aroma of his musk.

_You don't love like I do..._

"This whole time..." Uruha whispered to no one... only the vast emptiness of nothingness surrounding him. In the slightest moment he thought of tearing the door wide open again and calling for Aoi to come back. To return and surround him in the only kind of warmth Uruha had ever known and kiss his lips in that callous sweetness only Aoi could.

But he didn't.

Instead, Uruha collected himself and curled up on the sofa with Aoi's jacket tucked in his arms. He let a single tear fall into the material as he hugged it to his nose, inhaling Aoi's scent and accepting ruefully that he may have just lost Aoi forever.

Uruha squeezed his eyes shut, despair piquing,

"I love you..." He choked through tears, "There's no one else who I have loved more..."

_No one else who I have destroyed myself for._

***

_Eight months later_

Uruha smiled as that familiar upbeat of brass greeted his ears the moment he entered the lobby, adjusting his suit jacket as a kind usher asked politely if he should take his coat. Uruha accepted and let him slip it from his shoulders, turning to Ruki beside him,

"I can't believe we're back here again," Ruki mused, adjusting the mask at his nose. Ever the fashionista, Ruki had opted for a brand new one, refusing to recycle last year's no matter how much Uruha tried to convince him otherwise. Although, it still held that same Venetian flair; gleamed crimson red with black roses detailed around the eyelids.

Despite himself, Uruha had fallen victim to the excitement of this year's event himself, smirking behind his own golden plated one,

"We best get to work," Uruha thought aloud, already feeling himself sink further into a party mood as excited chatter and laughter of the guests in the hall up ahead could be heard resounding throughout the large structure. He took a moment to scan the high ceilings and the grandeur of the red carpet beneath their feet, thinking fondly of last year's memories here.

They entered the hall some time later having been briefed and equipped with full trays of champagne glasses, the jazz band on exactly the same stage; a new female vocalist singing an upbeat piece with smooth vocals while guests danced in coequal waltzes and jives. Up above, groups of partygoers dressed elegantly in tuxedos and lengthy silk dresses chatted and giggled behind champagne glasses as they milled about the balcony.

Somewhere, in this year's masquerade ball, Uruha felt some sort of hopefulness.

And it didn't take long for him to find it,

"Hey, Ru?" Uruha turned to his smaller friend, already engaged in deep conversation with two girls from his class, "Why don't you and the girls go dance for a while? I'll keep an eye out for the boss."

Ruki, as predicted, found that offer hard to turn down, placing his champagne tray on a nearby table before linking arms with his two companions, "You don't have to tell me twice! I owe you one, man."

Uruha watched him phase into the crowd and towards the dance floor, just in time for Aoi to approach, one hand tucked into his trouser pocket, the other clutching hold of an empty glass.

Uruha took notice, "Care for another?"

Aoi's lips curved into a cautious smile, exchanging for a fresh glass on the tray as Uruha held it out towards him,

"Uruha..." He breathed, behind an elegant white mask that hugged the curves of his cheeks, no longer so dark and brooding as he had been the year before, "... You look..."

For the first time, Uruha watched him struggle for the right word. The Aoi that stood before him was different. So different.

Yet it was him. Standing in a trimmed black suit and with his hair tied neatly into a low ponytail. He stood tall and muscular, refined and somehow a kind aura hovered behind his eyes,

"You look wonderful." Uruha finished for him, feeling the weight of Aoi's eyes soften behind his mask at the compliment. He stepped forward, taking Uruha's hand and leaning in close,

"So do you." He murmured at the blonde's ear, and boldly pressed a kiss to Uruha's cheek.

Uruha felt the heat rush to accommodate underneath Aoi's lips, closing his eyes for the briefest moment in what felt like ecstasy. Eight months of separation rushing to the surface,

 _"I've missed you,"_ He wanted to say... as Aoi lingered a while longer, his lips soft and gentle as they grazed his skin.

Aoi pulled back all too soon, radiant in the soft yellow light gleaming from the above chandeliers. He turned to gaze over his shoulder, towards the band and the dance floor as they finished their last song.

Together, they joined the applause that erupted from the guests surrounding them. As the next song began, a lower tempo of romantic brass strings and guitar, Aoi turned back towards Uruha and extended his hand,

"Will you dance with me?"

His request was so sincere, Uruha nodded without sparing a second to think. He let Aoi take his hand and guide him down the steps, all the while feeling as excited and shy as he had when they had first met.

Aoi paused in a space near the centre, bringing Uruha closer by his waist with ease. Uruha fell into his touch as he had always belonged, the two men clasping their hands together and swaying gently to the music echoing soothingly only feet away.

Behind the masks, Uruha couldn't take his eyes off of Aoi the entire time. He let Aoi lead, no words spoken between them. Just a single song to guide them.

Aoi smiled as he sensed Uruha's studiousness; perhaps knowing what the other was searching for. Was almost a year enough to change a man? Was it too little?

"It's so good to see you," Aoi spoke at last, his voice husky and so low in volume Uruha almost didn't catch his words,

"Aoi..." He scolded gently, as Aoi moved them side to side, "You shouldn't say things like that."

"You telling me I shouldn't tell you the truth?" Aoi arched an eyebrow behind the purity of his mask,

"N-No, it's just I -" Uruha hoped his mask would hide the blush flourishing hot at his cheeks, turning his head in an attempt to hide. As always, Aoi didn't let it go ignored, an index finger curling under his chin to bring Uruha back to face him,

"It's just us," Aoi reassured, a tender smile hooking the corner of his mouth, "You don't have to pretend for me."

Uruha swallowed, "Maybe it's better if we just keep dancing..."

"Are you scared?" Aoi asked gently,

Uruha nodded timidly. Yes, he was scared. Scared of falling in love with him again. Scared of hating him. Scared of falling victim to powers he had no control over. In eight months, Uruha had heard no sign of Aoi since that night he demanded he leave his apartment. Aoi had stayed true to his word; keeping his distance. No texts, no letters, no phone calls. Part of Uruha had felt relieved, the other lying awake for hours into the early morning staring at his phone; wondering if Aoi was awake and thinking of him too.

In time, eight months apart became unbearable and he realised a lot of things he should have the night Aoi left for good.

Uruha let his head slant to the side, regarding Aoi with hesitance, "You know I... I almost didn't come tonight."

At the small of his back, Uruha felt Aoi's palm stroke him with the smallest of movements, "Why's that?"

"Because I knew you would be here," Uruha confessed, a harsh puff of air filtering through his lips at the inner battle he had fought with himself for weeks upon accepting the job invitation, "I didn't know how I'd react seeing you again. Or how I'd... cope."

Uruha looked behind the mask for a reaction, but none came,

"And?" Aoi murmured quietly, "Are you coping?"

Uruha only had to think for a moment, "... Better than you'll ever know."

Aoi pulled their bodies closer at that, close enough that he could nestle their temples side by side and pretend they were all alone in this dance hall. Uruha slid a hand to grip at the firmness of his shoulders, closing his eyes at how right this felt. How right it felt to be in his arms again,

"Aoi?"

Aoi pulled back to face him again, though kept close,

"The last time I saw you, you said I'd had every part of you. That you wouldn't be able to let me go. Did you mean it?"

Uruha felt his eyes shine as he waited for an answer, his heart fluttering like it never had before the moment Aoi tentatively placed a hand at his neck,

"You already have me," Aoi told him earnestly, "There will be no one else who I can give myself to other than you,"

Uruha's heart fluttered, though he held his realism close to him, "I haven't forgotten the way you treated me all those months ago."

Aoi nodded, "I know... Neither have I."

There was a moment of silence between them, before Aoi broke it with that low, gruff tone of voice Uruha had to admit he'd missed listening to,

"These past few months, I felt lost without you," He confessed, his dark eyes creasing beneath the white in stark contrast, "I took a hard look at myself, Uruha. Wondering if I could be that man you wanted, to give you what you need."

Aoi sighed roughly,

"But... I _am_ aggressive. And I am ruthless. I am all those things you hate," Aoi's face was stern, "I can't change that."

Uruha shook his head, "I don't want you to. Aoi, I meant what I said. You are the man I have been crazy about from the moment I saw you. With you, I didn't know where I was half the time, yet I always found myself thinking about you."

Uruha moved the hand sitting at Aoi's shoulder to caress his cheek,

" I just _need_ to feel loved," He urged, "Aoi, I love you but I need that back from you. I need you to open up to me -"

"- You'll have it," Aoi interrupted, hushing Uruha into silence, "I may not have been the man you needed before. But I'm here now. I'm here and I'm yours... and I want to be yours, as much as I want you to be mine."

Uruha, although delighted, stayed calm, "Can we start by meeting tomorrow? We need to talk about everything. I need to know I can trust you again." 

"I'll prove it."

Aoi leaned in closer, quickly, yet captivated Uruha's lips so passionately, Uruha melted in his arms the moment he felt them upon his own again. His softness moved against Uruha's lips in long-forgotten desire, pulling Uruha tight against his chest; into that belonging of Aoi's rapture Uruha had craved to feel.

They pulled away, almost breathless, their foreheads touching as they dare not break apart. Uruha closed his eyes as he felt Aoi's soft breaths flutter hotly against his lips, words breaking free at long last. Words that Uruha would cherish forever; words that would allow him to walk again through that Hell Aoi had promised all those months ago.

He just hoped that Heaven awaited both of them on the other side,

"... I'm in love with you."

***

**Author's Note:**

> The song that Aoi and Uruha dance to: https://open.spotify.com/track/17xBG9XlLtZTCJKvECmrxQ
> 
> Well, that is a wrap on Sinners!! *gets bricked* I sincerely hope it was worth the wait ~ I've had such a horrendous block in writing at the moment (_ _)" I rewrote this so many times, you have no idea lolol~ but I really hope you enjoy! I'm going to work on Whispers of Children next. Hopefully that will be done before Chrismas ^^ <3
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this series and let me know what you think of the ending~ I hope it was good enough! xx


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